Tuesday, December 18, 2018
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Live a Less Dramatic Emotional Life

Man, Woman, Composing, Dispute

In last week’s article, we talked about how we want to simplify matters and make our lives more dramatic than necessary at times. We’ve got judgments, pre-conceived ideas, interpretations of what if/what is supposed to be and so on.

As promised, we will discuss now what BEING Human means and what are the options we have. Bear in mind, when I said: An enlightened mind simplifies and comes to a full circle of their human experiences and becomes a HU-MAN BEING, in the real sense.

Let’s now work on knowing how to become more educated and up the notch to be a works-in-progress enlightened human being.

You will find that many of the pointers below are associated with what we say, how we behave and about transforming the way we think.

But before I begin discussing I also want you to know that, as careful as you may be we also can’t control how others perceive us, so we all could do is to do our very best. I, for one, am frequently misunderstood. Individuals who don’t know me think I’m stuck up or arrogant because of how they perceive how I behave. Whereas some say I am a very confident person. So, it is actually about interpretation.

Now because we can’t change the minds of others, once they’ve made up their minds, we must know to be OK with how other people perceive you. And not let it negatively impact you.

So here goes:
in regards to speaking: some of you will know this already. Whenever you would like to say something, ask yourself:
Is it helpful?
Is it better for me not to say anything? This isn’t to say that we cannot say things in jest and that we need to be serious all the time. It depends on situations. And occasionally saying things in jest in certain circumstances could save others or yourself some embarrassment and could work to your advantage. Now, if you are unsure, then it is best to keep quiet.

When it comes to perceiving what we’ve said to you or said/written about you, often, unfortunately, we listen to what we would like to hear, and this can cause misunderstanding. So to get a more positive filter, do this:
Ask yourself, am I interpreting this wrong because of how I feel about this person? Am I having a bad day?
Is this a relationship that I place value in? If it’s not a significant one, then let it go if items are indeed directed to you. If this is a relationship you value, it’s always best to clarify with the individual from a position of love and understanding and not in a violent confrontation, with the intent to fix the relationship.

When it comes to understanding the behavior of the others, putting ourselves in their shoes helps us to have a clearer idea of why they do what they do. And perhaps we could develop some empathy for them.
If their behavior affects you, then being patient and speaking to them about it helps.
Again, the identical question of how much value you put in this relationship comes to play here. If there is no value, merely let it go.

Occasionally, you are required to take immediate action to address this with other people. And sometimes, you need to take more time for yourself to mull things over.
These are some necessary steps you can take. I know it sounds as though it’s so complicated that we have to question everything. No, this isn’t my intent for you to self-doubt or possess these questions running through your head all the time. In case you have no awareness, then you would probably be reactive to situations, and this can create a clash, and this is when you will take some time to think things through.

I can assure you that the above steps will become simpler, it’s like learning how to ride a bike, once you learn it and with daily practice, it will become second nature.

There’s a good deal more to how we can uncomplicate our own lives, I’ll discuss more in the coming weeks!

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